Remembering You Again

Sometimes,

With an involuntary movement of mine,

I stun myself.

Cover my face with both my hands and go dizzy.

 

For the movements,

Are yours.

Yours alone.

–   Shrugging both the shoulders with a mischievously innocent smile,

–   Saying nope,

–   Starting every sentence with a ‘ pata kya,’

Maybe these movements, these expressions make me understand,

–   When I adopt them in my tender moments,

–   What your tender moments were like.

 

Look, it ended,

As I predicted.

With me remembering your sweetness,

And you hating me!

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Dreaming Of You

When the pain of loneliness nibbles at me

When the melancholy of solitude nudges me by the elbow

And I’m afraid to turn around

To stare it full in the face

It’s then

that I dream of you

 

I dream of you

How it would be like to have you by my side

– To feel the warmth of your presence

 

What it would be like to share all good and bad

– To know that someone loves you

 

What it would be like to be inspired and to inspire

– To lend a hand and be lent one

 

What it would be like to share my joy with you

– And to know you’re there when failure strike

 

What it would be like to laugh with you

What it would be like to cry with you

What it would be like to wake up in the morning to a cheerful face

– And to return home to a charming smile

What it would be like to share a glance of complete understanding

What it would be like to tread the road of life together

– Hand in hand, in step with each other

 

That’s how

I dream of you

Of sharing a life

With you.

I Remember Your Smile

Smile

I still think about your smile

When the speck of a dimple formed on your cheek

And your lips spread  to the corner of your face

 

Remember how I liked to kiss you at the corners of your lips at such times.

You seemed so beautiful, so childlike beautiful and your smile turned broader, the dimple deepening and then evaporating.

 

A fist squeezes my heart inside

and I die a little

That’s the feeling with which

I remember your smile.

I Miss You!

I Miss You

Suddenly

When

The scenario has shifted,

The ambiance has changed,

And I am alone

In wilderness

The mist of solitude hanging on me

A subtle current runs through my heart

and

I remember you

I remember your smile

I remember your eyes

I remember your  face

I remember your  voice

I remember how you burst out laughing

I remember how you withdrew into a shell

I remember you

I miss you

Really

I do.

 

An End, A Beginning

Tonight, I was flipping through my poems

 

– Each one a cherished memory,

Reminder of a tender moment

 

And then I thought

If all of that has ended

That I’ve lost the ability to love like that

The ability to feel like that

And if it was the end

 

It was then that you shook me from my reverie

Asking an inane question and smiling that trademark smile of yours

Which never fails to evoke one from me

You – my beautiful daughter

 

And I looked deep into your eyes

And thought that perhaps there had been an end

But there had also been a new beginning.

To Silence

writing

I am not plain, you protested.

And the words remained with me.

The songs I played, the music I heard

The voices, the notes, the verses were all you

– echo of your voice

– facets of your being

And I had this overwhelming desire

To put pen to paper

And sketch you

With words

To immortalize you

On paper

I drew the locks…the curls that you so harshly tie up at work.

I drew the smile which illuminates your face.

I drew the willowy tall frames.

But that is as far as I got

The words seeming so facetious.

I was disappointed

And wondered why I can’t play with words any longer.

And then the realizations dawned

And I smiled to myself

Because I remember

That I

Am a silent lover.

A lover of silence.

A Few Moments More

Moments

You knock on my door

And tell me to follow you

It’s time, you say

Time to leave

I realize I need a few moments more

I want to see her at least once

To touch her and feel if she is real

I need to hear her laughter once more, see her smile light up the room once more.

I need to take her small hand in mine when she is sleeping…and thank God once more

I need to kiss my girl on the corner of her lips once more, to lie snug with her once more

I need to see how the tulip bulbs I planted in the fall come out this spring

And if the leaves of the trees will be prettier this fall

I need to visit countries, continents.

I need to see all this world has got to show me.

Oh, there is so much I need to do!

Can’t we wait a bit?

Come, let’s wait a bit.

A few moments more.

A few days more.

A few months more.

A few years more.